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Article about where to meet single men in their 30s:

Zoe Beaty speaks to men in their 30s who say they’re struggling with stereotypes, too. What Single Men Really Think About Dating In Their 30s. When my last relationship ended, there was a sense of excitement from some of my male friends in relationships,” John, 36, from Manchester, is telling me.

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“In their eyes I could once again ‘play the field’ and do some of the things that they probably secretly wanted to do.” “Depending on where you look and who you listen to, there is an idea that being single in your 30s is normal and even to be desired,” he adds. “I think that’s a bit of an oversimplification, to say the least. The reality is quite different.” The messaging about being single is conflicting. It is simultaneously cast as consistently fun and ultimately tragic, essential for fulfilment but only truly acceptable in the past tense. Advertisement ADVERTISEMENT. As women, depending on when we were born we know precisely what single life in our late 20s and 30s looks like: a heady mix of Bridget Jones, Carrie Bradshaw and, more recently, or rather more refreshingly, Lizzo. As an identity, straight female singledom is so packed with emotion that we have entire genres dedicated to it. We speak about it frequently. We rail against it when it becomes stereotyped or commodified, trite or just plain degrading. The messaging about being single is conflicting. It is simultaneously cast as consistently fun and ultimately tragic, essential for fulfilment but only truly acceptable in the past tense. But what do we know about the same things when it comes to the (straight) male experience? “James Bond?” John floats when I ask about societal depictions to which single men are expected to relate. “Too broken to emotionally attach so he just fucks women and kills people.” Not exactly relatable, is it? “There don’t seem to be many male role models living happy, healthy, single lives well into middle age,” he says. There is an established (albeit very tired) narrative attached to single men in their late 20s and 30s – that they are players, the bachelors, ‘picky’ or dangerously noncommittal. The sticky trope that men don’t (or won’t) speak about their feelings comes into play too, along with other burdens of toxic masculinity. Unsurprisingly, as John says, there’s a lot more to it than that. “People seem to think that the same pressures put on women to settle down aren’t there with men,” says 28-year-old Dean Westbrook, a travel consultant from Wimbledon. “It is to a lesser extent with men, of course. But I still have those very optimistic older relatives that send me Christmas cards like ‘to my grandson and partner’, because they assume that I must have settled down by now. I’m an only child and I know my mum would like grandkids. There is a pressure,” he says. Advertisement ADVERTISEMENT. Studies show that he’s not the only one to feel this way. Seventy-one percent of single men told a 2017 eHarmony survey that they felt pressured to get into a relationship, compared to 58% of women. “You just can’t let expectations weigh on you,” Dean adds. “For me I think the quieter stuff – the week-to-week stuff – is more relevant. A lot of my friends are in relationships, so when it gets to the weekend and I’m asking what everyone is doing, suddenly every man and his dog is off to Center Parcs. You can’t help but think about what everyone else is doing and then, what am I doing?” “I do think men need to talk about loneliness and disconnection more, especially men who are single and feel cut adrift,” John says. A lot of my friends are in relationships, so when it gets to the weekend and I’m asking what everyone is doing, suddenly every man and his dog is off to Center Parcs. You can’t help but think, what am I doing? He came out of a six-year relationship in July 2019. “Most of my friends are in long-term relationships… You can find yourself alone and men are terrible at asking for help or surrounding themselves with friends, in my experience.” “I think this is partly because as you get older you stop making new friends but also because there’s a perverse sense that men should be lone wolves who shouldn’t engage with their emotions. You see this a lot in books and films – generally the ones that appeal to men to help them shore up this image. It’s a vicious cycle.” “I’m lucky in that I have male friends I can talk to about my feelings, who have been through similar things, so I could talk to them about being lonely. But I think that’s not too common and I worry for the men who don’t have people around them that they can talk to about feeling alone, because it’s such a horrible feeling. I can see why the suicide rate among men my age is so high because it can really feel like you’ve failed at life, especially if you buy into society’s messages about what it is to be a man.” Advertisement ADVERTISEMENT. Some studies show that single men report higher levels of loneliness than the majority of other social groups. Others claim that women are better at talking about loneliness.

Where to meet single guys in their 30s

Where to meet guys in their 30s

Where to meet single men in their 30s

Where to meet a guy in your 30s

Where to meet a man in your 30s

Where to meet men in their 30s

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